Sad Trashy Jon

When I met Jon he was 100 lbs overweight and in one of the most macho fraternities at UT. Still, I knew he was gay. I believe he would tell you that I outed him. Jon wore jeans and starched polo shirts and ropers every day. In his senior year at UT he did a remarkable thing and lost 100 pounds. He did aerobics every day and went on a diet. He was a machine. And in one year he lost all that weight.

Jon is gay and a hemophiliac. He would say that indicates his probable royal lineage. She's a queen all right. Jon is very funny and caring and well-bred. He has impeccable manners. His mother is so proud of him.

Jon was Little Mr. Bee County when he was a child, winning a beautiful baby contest his mother entered him in. His dad calls him Jake. Jon grew up with money in South Texas. He was his mother's pride and joy and he got pert' near whatever he wanted. Still, she raised him right. He knows what fork to use, always sends the proper correspondence for a thank you or a regret, and he remembers your birthday.

Jon used to be very reckless. It's understandable, he'd been effectively and completely repressed by every aspect of his upbringing. He's not as reckless anymore, but I used to really worry about him. Which was pretty funny considering the shape I often found myself in.

Jon has worked for some pretty incredible people. He was personal assistant to the horrific Gail Sheehy, Executive Assistant to the woman who runs Interview Magazine (I can't ever remember her name), Exec. Asst. to the President of Lifetime TV and now works for a man. The man is a very successful home builder and Jon flies all over the country in a private jet. Jon is well-suited for that.

I could give you some good insight into how Jon got his nickname, but I don't want to be untoward. Certainly not here. Suffice it to say that it once fit him like a glove.