If you skip ahead to the segment called, "EGG", you'll hear Emery's voice and see his claymation animation:
http://web.mac.com/luallenbaugh/HOME/_.html
player
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Bad Mommy
There was a time, when my children were babes, I couldn't imagine having a cross word with them. Those days seem long ago.
This morning, after awaking with an horrific toothache, Em knocked over the TV tray that substitutes as my office desk at the moment, sending my laptop and my coffee to the carpet.
ARGH%*&&###%!!!%%!!! I was so mad. I totally lost my temper - What were you doing?!? Do you know that's going to stain?? WERE YOU TOUCHING MY COMPUTER EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO????!!!
I stormed through the wreck of our house, stomping past all the sweaty men who show up every day to work on our remodel, holding my cheek and trying desperately to find the GODDAMN PAPER TOWELS, and as I cleaned up the coffee I started to cry.
Instant remorse. What an awful mother I am. Why did I get so mad? What is the big deal? Yes, I know that all the dust and mess compounds the spill... Can't I hold it together?
So, I called Leigh and confessed. I just needed to hear from another mother - and one that I think is better at it than I am - that I haven't scarred him for life or turned him into a drug addict - or Charles Whitman.
I asked for Em's forgiveness. Told him I was wrong for losing my temper. He said, "No, it's all my fault. I should have been more careful." I told him that I would appreciate that in the future, but it wasn't his fault that I lost my temper... I should control that. I asked for and received his forgiveness. A blessing.
This morning, after awaking with an horrific toothache, Em knocked over the TV tray that substitutes as my office desk at the moment, sending my laptop and my coffee to the carpet.
ARGH%*&&###%!!!%%!!! I was so mad. I totally lost my temper - What were you doing?!? Do you know that's going to stain?? WERE YOU TOUCHING MY COMPUTER EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO????!!!
I stormed through the wreck of our house, stomping past all the sweaty men who show up every day to work on our remodel, holding my cheek and trying desperately to find the GODDAMN PAPER TOWELS, and as I cleaned up the coffee I started to cry.
Instant remorse. What an awful mother I am. Why did I get so mad? What is the big deal? Yes, I know that all the dust and mess compounds the spill... Can't I hold it together?
So, I called Leigh and confessed. I just needed to hear from another mother - and one that I think is better at it than I am - that I haven't scarred him for life or turned him into a drug addict - or Charles Whitman.
I asked for Em's forgiveness. Told him I was wrong for losing my temper. He said, "No, it's all my fault. I should have been more careful." I told him that I would appreciate that in the future, but it wasn't his fault that I lost my temper... I should control that. I asked for and received his forgiveness. A blessing.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
August 7, 2006
Today is the second anniversary of my brother-in-law, David's, death. We miss him so. David owned a greenhouse in Atlantic, Iowa for more than 20 years and the hostas we have growing in front of the house are plants he raised. I always think of him as I pass them; it may be that so tiny milisecond that registers in a special place in my brain but it flashes in there: David's Hostas.
The Mourner's Kaddish for David.
Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.
May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
The Mourner's Kaddish for David.
Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.
May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
Going up (and up and away)
Emery's doing this cool animation camp this week where he's learning and doing claymation and stop animation. So we were talking about future careers in that and he asked me if when I was doing plays and stuff if I was able to always learn my lines. I answered yes, I was able to learn them. Then he asked, "was there ever a time when you just couldn't learn them?"
In fact there was one time, and I told him about it. Merry Wives of Windsor, the prose play (as I call it) was a show I did with Helene Gresser as Mistress Ford (I was Mistress Page)... And we simply could not learn our lines. I couldn't really explain to Em how the iambic pentameter usually helps immensely in memorization, and that this being a play without meter it was especially difficult; I did tell him of the rehearsal timeline, a shocking 2 weeks, at the end of a summer of 8 plays, this being the 8th... My brain was just done. And I hated the play. I didn't like the director (he was cukoo, like really). And it was a strange 'vehicle' piece for this actor who'd come in town just for this play. I had an instant dislike for him: who would travel anywhere to do Merry Wives. And then he wasn't any good as Falstaff - he was awful.
I am sure all these things are why I don't do that anymore, and don't particularly miss it. It's not just that I have kids or what-have-you... There was always so much not to like about the whole business. And the moments of sheer joy or glory were very few and far between.
In fact there was one time, and I told him about it. Merry Wives of Windsor, the prose play (as I call it) was a show I did with Helene Gresser as Mistress Ford (I was Mistress Page)... And we simply could not learn our lines. I couldn't really explain to Em how the iambic pentameter usually helps immensely in memorization, and that this being a play without meter it was especially difficult; I did tell him of the rehearsal timeline, a shocking 2 weeks, at the end of a summer of 8 plays, this being the 8th... My brain was just done. And I hated the play. I didn't like the director (he was cukoo, like really). And it was a strange 'vehicle' piece for this actor who'd come in town just for this play. I had an instant dislike for him: who would travel anywhere to do Merry Wives. And then he wasn't any good as Falstaff - he was awful.
I am sure all these things are why I don't do that anymore, and don't particularly miss it. It's not just that I have kids or what-have-you... There was always so much not to like about the whole business. And the moments of sheer joy or glory were very few and far between.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Joe Lockhart is a Funny Guy
So, yesterday's This American Life podcast was a marriage of two things I really enjoy - TAL and The Moth. The story featured former White House Press Secretary Joe Lockhart talking about his first trip abroad with the President.
I love when two things, that were previously unrelated, come together. It's kind of like finding out that two people you know and like from very different times and places in your life, actually know each other...
I love when two things, that were previously unrelated, come together. It's kind of like finding out that two people you know and like from very different times and places in your life, actually know each other...
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
The Game of Sweet Revenge
We played LIFE on Sunday night and SORRY, the game of sweet revenge, last night. It's so fun to sit down, all four of us, and play games. We took a popsicle break in the middle and I raced the boys to the freezer (the free-standing freezer which is in the middle of a room which could loosely be described as the kitchen, only because there is a free-standing sink in there too).
{The house is really coming along. The 'joint compound guy' - who is a different guy from 'dry wall guy' - has been here all week. The deck is done and they are just finishing the two step downs. The bead board has gone up over the side porch by the dutch door and all the siding and trim outside is almost complete.}
Wilbur was so funny playing Sorry. He kept doing this funny thing when moving his pawn; counting really slowly and laughing a funny laugh.
Emery and I have been playing chess at this weekly appointment we have where they have a chess set in the waiting room, but it's really a joke b/c I am a horrible chess player. I know how the pieces are allowed to move and that's about it. When we play, Emery often looks up at me with this mixture of confusion and care; like he doesn't want to call me out since I am his mom, and he doesn't want to think that I am that stupid because, well, because I am his mom, or, I can see him thinking, "Maybe she's making genius moves that are so far beyond anything I know of chess and it just looks idiotic..."
Games are fun and hard. It's a good way to learn how to have fun winning and how to care not so much about losing - a difficult lesson to learn. Particularly with your family.
{The house is really coming along. The 'joint compound guy' - who is a different guy from 'dry wall guy' - has been here all week. The deck is done and they are just finishing the two step downs. The bead board has gone up over the side porch by the dutch door and all the siding and trim outside is almost complete.}
Wilbur was so funny playing Sorry. He kept doing this funny thing when moving his pawn; counting really slowly and laughing a funny laugh.
Emery and I have been playing chess at this weekly appointment we have where they have a chess set in the waiting room, but it's really a joke b/c I am a horrible chess player. I know how the pieces are allowed to move and that's about it. When we play, Emery often looks up at me with this mixture of confusion and care; like he doesn't want to call me out since I am his mom, and he doesn't want to think that I am that stupid because, well, because I am his mom, or, I can see him thinking, "Maybe she's making genius moves that are so far beyond anything I know of chess and it just looks idiotic..."
Games are fun and hard. It's a good way to learn how to have fun winning and how to care not so much about losing - a difficult lesson to learn. Particularly with your family.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Insight
Sent as email to MH:
I read this fascinating article in this past week's New Yorker that I insist you read, if you haven't already. It's about some research being done into 'Insight' and how it happens; how the brain happens on epiphany and what happens in the brain when we have an insight or an epiphany. It really focuses on the Right brain and the need to wander, get distracted and also come to an impasse in whatever problem we are trying to solve.
I find this absolutely fascinating b/c this is how I think and I have often been discouraged from my natural pattern of non-focus and disorganization (and sometimes I do the same to Emery!).
The impasse is absolutely critical. If the brain doesn't experience that feeling of almost giving up (on coming up with a solution, answer, solving the problem, etc.) it's almost like the insight can't happen. And the wander is essential too - that's when the right brain engages and starts making the strange connections that are "big picture" connections - bringing together seemingly unrelated things to arrive at insight.
I read this fascinating article in this past week's New Yorker that I insist you read, if you haven't already. It's about some research being done into 'Insight' and how it happens; how the brain happens on epiphany and what happens in the brain when we have an insight or an epiphany. It really focuses on the Right brain and the need to wander, get distracted and also come to an impasse in whatever problem we are trying to solve.
I find this absolutely fascinating b/c this is how I think and I have often been discouraged from my natural pattern of non-focus and disorganization (and sometimes I do the same to Emery!).
The impasse is absolutely critical. If the brain doesn't experience that feeling of almost giving up (on coming up with a solution, answer, solving the problem, etc.) it's almost like the insight can't happen. And the wander is essential too - that's when the right brain engages and starts making the strange connections that are "big picture" connections - bringing together seemingly unrelated things to arrive at insight.
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