Regrets, I've had a few

Yesterday I handed over my gavel to the new Moderator of the church. I was sure I was ready to do so, but it's a difficult thing. As a leader I feel very flawed. I look back over the year and see so many times that I was frustrated or impatient and I think that I could have done a much better job.

It feels uncomfortable to question the job I did, critiquing myself. I don't want to do that, but I do it just the same. It's easier for me to dive, head-first, into something else rather than sit back and do a little nothing for a time. I think that's what I need to do though. I'd like to find the opportunity for ministry: what is my work in the world? What is, given the collective of my experiences, the way to serve?

Putting Up Walls

House Continues - Blades of Glory

You know you are living in a male-dominated environment when the sounds of Lego Starwars for Wii are drifting down from the TV upstairs and peals of side-splitting laughter accompany Blades of Glory, the movie that's played in our house like 50 TIMES.

House continues... We are thinking on inset cabinets, pulls, hinges and dutch doors.

Why Catholic School

We have decided to send the boys to Catholic school for Jr. High and High School. I often say it's because I think the Catholics do education very well. But after listening to a couple of podcast recently, I think there is something more to it as well.

I heard two stories recently about Jews that were absolutely intriguing. Both stories remind me of my fondness for both Jews and Catholics. The first was about a Jewish couple who were orthodox and yet had left the fold. Hockey was the agent of change. They didn't have very strong beliefs in the way that evangelical Christians have strong beliefs - but they behaved in such a way that you'd think they must have a very deep spiritual connection to the Almighty. They kept kosher, they didn't work on the sabbath, they dressed a certain way and in effect they did much more to exhibit their faith and gave up WAY more than I might (fashion, convenience, etc.) to remain faithful. The podcast told how they wanted to see a hockey game at Madison Square Garden on a Saturday, but they couldn't drive on the Sabbath. So they walked. They walked to Madison Square Garden: starting from New Jersey across the GW Bridge to MSG. And after all that, the Rangers Lost. The man's wife said, "We should have driven." They felt God had abandoned them. They had been faithful, not breaking any commandment, and the Rangers had LOST. The man ate a hot dog on their way home, a 'screw you' to God and his culinary demands. So fascinating! What is compelling is that this couple would live in such a way that they wouldn't drive on a Saturday and yet the outcome of a sporting event could derail their faith. And I realize that what holds these people in their faith is often their community, not always their beliefs.



The other story was about a Jewish brother and sister. He abandoned his faith and became an evangelical Christian. His sister went on a personal quest to try and re-establish their relationship. Once he left his Judaism behind, he also abandoned that sense of community. He isolated himself in a very closed, evangelical community that didn't interact at all with anyone outside of their exact beliefs. He had no relationship with his family at all.


I perceive that Catholics are sort of 'outside-in' kind of believers. There are all these things that they DO and those things keep them in their faith and in community. What appeals to me is that even during times when my kids might lose their faith or question their faith, with a Catholic influence they could learn to stay on the journey even as their beliefs might wane. There is a habit of doing even if the underpinning of that loosens. I want them to develop those habits of prayer and meditation, service and responsibility, as well as a sense of belonging to the faith community even when they may not feel like it...

Moth Pod

I am so into Pod Casting and my new favorite podcast is The Moth (http://www.themoth.org/). The Moth is a non-profit storytelling organization un New York. The man who founded it wanted to recreate the feeling of a small circle of friends gathering on summer nights to tell interesting stories.

Newton's Cradle

We got Emery a Garfield book for the trip. I have to admit that I hate Garfield. I had a roomate once who LOVED Garfield and the Family Circus. But Emery's best friend has all these Garfield books and Em thinks they are hilarious.

So, I got him one and he was reading it on the way home after church. Emery says to me, "Hey! Garfield made a Newton's Cradle out of spiders!" I didn't really even know what a Newton's cradle was until he showed me. Then he explained to me why it is called a Newton's Cradle and what Newton proved, he talked about Newton proving that energy could move through things (like the middle balls in the Newton's cradle). I asked him how he knew all that and he said he'd read it.

He also made up a joke... Who wrote the pig version of Dracula? Hamm Stoker.

Road to Emmaus

Today was a perfect day at church - it was one of those times that I heard exactly what I was destined to hear. I always here something I need, but I usually have to make correlations between my life and the message. Today, the words were a direct translation.

The scripture was the Road to Emmaus when Jesus appears to these other disciples, guys we haven't even heard of before. It's after the resurrection and no one recognizes Jesus. Cynthia talked about their journey, coming from Jerusalem heading toward Emmaus.

Palm Springs

We are headed to Palm Springs early-early on Monday morning. Lately Dwight and Scott have been talking about leaving Palm Springs and moving to Phoenix. What shall we do! We would be bereft!

In the picture of Wilbur I can see his spiritual third eye (that's what I call it - he has a red dot between his eyes that I have always thought was a spiritual eye...)

We love going and so do the boys. We are taking our Wii, the mini-DVD player and a nanny.

Do We Ever Really Grow Up?

I was talking with a friend about times in our lives when our thoughts and emotions make us feel very un-grown up. And she asked the question, "Sometimes I wonder", she said, "do we ever really grow up?" I think she has something there because lately my life seems to be overwhelming me just a little and I can't seem to keep things in check. Little cats are scooting about and my mind whirs. I'm in one of those periods in my life where I realize that I thought I had things all figured out but the chaos inside causes me to come up short and accept that I don't. It's a bit of an emotional free fall. I am sure that this is a necessary correction - like the economy, my ego grows and grows and then events called corrections come along and take a little wind out of the sails.

The things that tie me down and keep me earthbound are Doug (especially) and our children. Doug is a saint. He is kind and funny, charming and sexy, smart and loyal (exceedingly loyal). Sometimes I think I don't deserve him.

Amidst the turmoil we play Super Mario Brothers and Smarty Pants. I can't really go batty when we have Mario and Luigi to pull me back.

the Halstead-Reitan Neuropsychological Test Battery & the revised Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children

Emery started his battery of tests today. It was a half day of testing today. We played hooky the rest of the day and went to Nordstrom. Seemed appropriate. He did incredibly well. I don't know if it's some ploy to put parents at ease, but they praised him up and down. The purpose of this is to rule out or confirm certain learning patterns, evaluate how he learns and to re-evaluate his Intelligence Quotient.

We've been through the Wechsler before and found his verbal IQ to be very high. Today he did some 'pre-college' work. I didn't ask the diagnostician, but it occurred to me, "Isn't everything pre-college?" I mean 1st grade is arguably pre-college. I tell you what, that is the kind of thinking that rendered me completely ineffectual on objective tests.

When we did the Wechsler at age 5, his performance IQ (read: everything that isn't verbal) was average or low. So, it was something to see about later. I didn't know there were 'non-verbal learning disabilities' but I'm the wiser now.

More and more I come to the conclusion that we don't have any of those issues staring us in the face. More and more I think we are just dealing with a gifted child who sees verbal gymnastics as games worth playing. I also struggle with how to raise children in this society where we have to teach them to be somewhat distrustful of adults and authority figures, and particularly adults who have opted to work with children: coaches and teachers are child molesters. So, how do you teach them to respect authority often but to question it when necessary using a judgment sensor that they just haven't developed. How to teach them to think, hmmm, something seems odd about this interaction - what does this adult person want from me? S/He's showing an inordinate interest in me...

It's a puzzle.

Dick Dale and his Surf Guitar

Our boys love Dick Dale. They want to listen to Nitro over and over again, turned up loud. They have studied guitarists all year in music. They talk to us about Les Paul, Django Reinhardt, Sharon Isbin and Jimi Hendrix. Last year they talked about composers and spent a lot of time on Schumann. The year before that they did electronic music all year - John Cage and others.

Their music teacher is very cool.

UCC in NYT: Our Church Tries to Set It Straight

http://www.ucc.org/newsletter/pdfs/ny-times-ad.pdf

Here is the text of the ad (I particularly like the FIRSTS):

Much has been said about the United Church of Christ in recent weeks, much of it hurtful for many in our country, including members of Trinity UCC in Chicago. That is why we are eager to share the broad and diverse story of the United Church of Christ, one that we celebrate. With all Christians, we rest in God’s amazing grace and hear God’s voice in the words of Scripture. Yet, the UCC is unique to some because we do not require uniformity of belief. We are a church of open ideas, extravagant welcome and evangelical courage. Our passion for democracy extends to both government and church, where decision-making rests within each congregation. We support liberty in our pulpits, just as we affirm the individual conscience of our 1.2-million members to agree, disagree and wrestle with life’s biggest questions in a spirit of love.

Our story is this nation’s story. We are the people of the Mayflower. More than 600 of our 5,700 congregations were formed before 1776. Eleven signers of the Declaration of Independence were members of UCC predecessor bodies.

As early abolitionists, we came to the aid of the Amistad captives and founded hundreds of schools across the South after the Civil War. We were the first mainline church to ordain an African-American (1785), a woman (1853) and an openly gay pastor (1972). We were also the first to form a foreign mission society (1810). Our multi-ethnic membership includes persons from every immigrant group, as well as native peoples and descendants of freed slaves. Our unity is not dependent upon uniform agreement, but in our shared allegiance to Jesus Christ. Ours is a risk-taking church, because ours is a risk-taking God.

God is still speaking, ®

Final Council Meeting

Tonight is my final council meeting at church as the Moderator. In essence, I am chairman of the board at the church (or a Lay Leader). On April 27th I give up my crown and end my reign. I am both happy and sad about this. I don't have a crown and it wasn't really a reign, but I do have a gavel. And I'll miss it.

"You Boys and Your Big Wallets"

Jack Spell ran the costume shop at Ohio University and Doug always tells the funniest stories about him. D was in for a fitting and Jack was doing his measurements when he made that comment, "You boys and your big wallets..."

I know what he meant. But the double entendre makes me pee, it's so funny.