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Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Marriage Posts

Valentine's Day 2008:
What a wonderful time to be married and in love with my wonderful husband. What a truly remarkable man he is. So responsible, funny, caring, thorough, resourceful, silly and fabulous he is. He's got soul, he's got class, he's got style, he's bad ass.



Early February 2008:
What are the things we value and draw to us as a family?
Education - we spend a great deal of our money on the children's education
Philathropy - we believe in supporting a progressive Christian agenda, arts and cultural institutions, and our hometowns (particularly Doug's)
Environment - we shop organic, recycle, reduce and reuse. We try to eat local. We have almost given up plastic shopping bags.



January 2008:
Doug and I celebrated our 10th Anniversary in 2007. My marriage continues to be one of the things of which I am most proud.

2005:
I remember the first time I ever saw Doug. It was at Bill Condee's house in Athens, OH. There is always a party at the beginning of the year for the new studio to meet the 2nd year students and the faculty (at Ohio University). So, I was walking through the party with Lisa (see Lisa) and saw him and he took my breath away.

We were both seeing other people and we both broke up with people we were seeing over the same summer. When I heard that he was single I was so excited!

Doug and I started seeing each other in October 1994 in Cleveland, Ohio. Then we moved to New York. We got married in October of 1997.

No one can make me laugh like Douglas. There are times when I'm really mad at him and he makes me laugh and I really don't want to laugh and I get even madder because I want to be mad.

Michael - 11/9

Sweeney Todd opened to wonderful reviews - that's what I heard from Mike "Baby Girl" Hartman.

Michael

Michael and Matt are Godfathers to our children. I've known Mike since 1984 when I was a freshmen at The University of Texas. Mike and I worked together at Amy's Ice Creams. I trained him to scoop ice cream - he has some funny stories about that.

Mike is the most positive and energy-filled person I know. He is a spiritual entity. He always wants to laugh and laugh hard. He pursues joy relentlessly. He wants you to be funny and make him laugh. If you have ever done or said anything that he thinks is very funny he will make you do it over and over again for the rest of your life (see Dave). And he'll laugh as hard the 150th time as he did the 1st.

Michael is a successful press agent, handling a good deal of the shows that are on Broadway at any given time (Barlow-Hartman).

He has a house in upstate NY where we spent Christmas a few years ago. Our boys love him. Someday when they are old enough they will go to NY to visit him on their own.

Mike had colon cancer a few years ago - almost the exact same time my dad was diagnosed. He had part of his colon removed and for insurance he had 6 months of chemotherapy. Today he has a clean bill of health.

Mike is single now. He and his partner Matt broke up over a year ago. That was very hard on them and on us. I mean they were the Godparents.

Now I think Mike should go out with Anderson Cooper. I want him to find someone who is doing important things in the world. It's actually very selfish on my part. I want to meet Anderson Cooper.

Sad Trashy Jon

When I met Jon he was 100 lbs overweight and in one of the most macho fraternities at UT. Still, I knew he was gay. I believe he would tell you that I outed him. Jon wore jeans and starched polo shirts and ropers every day. In his senior year at UT he did a remarkable thing and lost 100 pounds. He did aerobics every day and went on a diet. He was a machine. And in one year he lost all that weight.

Jon is gay and a hemophiliac. He would say that indicates his probable royal lineage. She's a queen all right. Jon is very funny and caring and well-bred. He has impeccable manners. His mother is so proud of him.

Jon was Little Mr. Bee County when he was a child, winning a beautiful baby contest his mother entered him in. His dad calls him Jake. Jon grew up with money in South Texas. He was his mother's pride and joy and he got pert' near whatever he wanted. Still, she raised him right. He knows what fork to use, always sends the proper correspondence for a thank you or a regret, and he remembers your birthday.

Jon used to be very reckless. It's understandable, he'd been effectively and completely repressed by every aspect of his upbringing. He's not as reckless anymore, but I used to really worry about him. Which was pretty funny considering the shape I often found myself in.

Jon has worked for some pretty incredible people. He was personal assistant to the horrific Gail Sheehy, Executive Assistant to the woman who runs Interview Magazine (I can't ever remember her name), Exec. Asst. to the President of Lifetime TV and now works for a man. The man is a very successful home builder and Jon flies all over the country in a private jet. Jon is well-suited for that.

I could give you some good insight into how Jon got his nickname, but I don't want to be untoward. Certainly not here. Suffice it to say that it once fit him like a glove.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Amy

Amy is Amy's Ice Creams Amy. When she scooped ice cream with us we used to have to call her Freida. Amy is one of my dearest friends. I met her in 1985 when I went to work for her. Then I worked for her in the office and then I was the business manager. At that time she was Le Grande Fromage and I was Le Petit Fromage (don't correct my french, it's just for fun and effect).

Amy is a terrific athlete who can do anything. She's been a runner, a swimmer, a tri-athlete, a boxer... She is super-fit. Amy is very funny and warm. She has 2 girls and a boy. "Most women have notoriously bad taste in men" -said Wayne Thompson - and must admit I've thought this about Amy. But I think that it's Amy's ability to see the best in anyone - and not bad taste - that made her love people I didn't always like much. She is so willing and able to give people all her confidence. And that's really a gift. She is very happily married to Steve now. We used to refer to Amy's first wedding as the un-wedding, which I always thought was very funny. Amy, I hope you aren't offended by what I've written here because I love you so much.

That gift of seeing the best in people has made Amy very successful in business. And an employer of choice in Austin. She has exceptional instincts about things. She is incredibly smart. Amy attended Tufts and she got her MBA from UT in its Executive MBA program, which was intense. She didn't have to do that - I mean she ran her own business, it's not like she worked for a big company that was paying for it or would pay her more for completing the program. But she really drives herself hard. In business and athletics - in every way. I am way more lazy.

Amy's a Scot. You know what I mean, nudge-nudge wink-wink. She's cheap. Thrifty. Frugal. She watches the bottom line. She loves a bargain.

One time I spilled coffee on a lease agreement while Amy was out of town and I tried to just wipe the coffee off and leave it where it had been. Our landlord was a very wealthy middle-aged gay man who dressed impeccably and noticed everything. In other words, he was gonna pick up on that coffee spill. Amy came back and had to turn that lease in and asked me, what the hell happened? I was like, I thought it would be ok. We still laugh about that.

Amy really made it possible for me to meet many of my college friends or to deepen friendships that were just beginning.

Amy's daughter reminds me of myself as a child. Amy and I always promised each other not to become mothers who lived vicariously through our children and sat around a girl scout function talking about cheerleading outfits and hair bobs. I think we've kept our word.

Ken - Kenny G

Ken Germer and I are political polar opposites. But, he works for a very cool organization, The International Justice Mission (www.ijm.org). Here is Ken's blog: www.kengermer.com

One of my favorite Bible verses is Micah 6:8, Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. IJM fulfills those directives by seeking justice for those who have no voice and no vote: children sold into slavery and sexual servitude. It's astonishing that there is a market for such prurience... Men (I generalize) who want to have sex with children. Right up there with Marian Wright Edelman, it seems to me that IJM is working to inspire churches to get up and do something.

Actively seeking justice has changed my faith from a self-serving-try-to-look-like-you're-holy kind of attitude into something active and dynamic. Faith develops by focusing on others and trying to create the realm of God on earth.

Ken and I met through Linda McGannon. They lived in the same condo complex and Linda either didn't have a microwave or it was on the fritz and I was over at her home and we were eating something and she gave me the key to Ken's condo and said, "go warm these plates up at Ken's. I don't think he's home, here's his key." So, when I opened the door Ken was sitting there with a girl watching a movie and here I come with two plates of food saying, Linda said I should warm these up in your microwave. And that's how we met.

Ken called me the moodiest person he'd ever met.

We disagreed on almost everything. I didn't own a car at the time so Ken sometimes took me on an errand. One time we argued about something and he wouldn't stop the car and let me get out so I told him I was going to open the door - which I did. He has always claimed that I messed up the seal on that car and that door always leaked when it rained after that.

Ken is a good Christian. He has spent several summers volunteering with homeless kids in Brazil. He is a lawyer too.

Ken used to have a saying on his refrigerator: Your karma ran over my dogma.

Lisa

2-24-08

I went over to Lisa's this morning (the cocktail party was last night) and we watched a video tape of a Christmas cabaret that we did at the Cleveland Play House. It was so strange to see. It was 1994 I believe and we all looked so young! We did this really funny version of Santa Claus is coming to town and we tap danced and Andy and I had this whole banter like we were lousy lounge singers (but way before Ana Gasteyer and Will Ferrell did it). Good Times.




2-7-08
Lisa is graciously hosting a cocktail party for us on the Saturday night that we are in NYC! She called me yesterday to say that she had randomly run into Jon Stewart! Talk about laws of attraction! We were all thinking of each other recently and then people I love start bumping into each other!




From 2005:
I met Lisa at Ohio University. Lisa is full of sweetness and kindness. Lisa and I hit it off right away. During our time in grad school I could be with Lis 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without thinking about it. She probably got sick of me because I was always over at her apartment. I lived in the dorm and she had a really cool apartment (cool for Athens) on Court Street right by the School of Theatre. Very convenient.

Lisa is a very well-to-do Jew, but you wouldn't know it. Not the part about her being Jewish, but about being well-to-do. Actually, I didn't know she was Jewish until she told me, but then I am kind of slow on that (her maiden name was a pretty Jewish name but that stuff never occurs to me for some reason).

The guy who lived next door to Lisa was an undergrad who played really loud music and stayed up late (I did that as an undergrad too, but we were annoyed by it at the time). One day as he passed us in the hallway he looked at Lisa and said, "Hi Debbie!" If I told Lisa that story right now we'd laugh so hard we'd squeal.

One time Lisa and I were out at a bar on Court Street and these two undergrad guys were sort of hitting on us and making up all this BS about how they were going to audition for Richard III (which the School of Theatre was about to do) and I just looked at this guy who was doing most of the talking and said, "Hey, you know, we just aren't really interested. Thanks anyway, but why don't you just move along. Just move along." I think he called me a bitch but I can't remember.

One time Lisa farted backstage (actually in the Vom) and it smelled so awful that I told her I could see it. We laughed about that for hours.

One time we were sleeping in the same bed and I tried to kiss her (I was having a dream).

Lisa played a german woman in a play once and there's this line she'll always say from it that cracks me up (pausing to laugh right now) - she says, "Ah'm afwaid Ah'm goingk to haffve to efvict you!" It's very funny. Part of it is the look she has on her face when she says it.

Lisa photographs better than anyone I know. She is a beautiful girl and she is extremely photogenic. I mean really. You can't take a bad picture of her. I think I'm pretty cute and I never take a good picture. Never. My best photo looks horrible next to Lisa's worst.

Lisa moved to NY before Doug and me. She moved with her boyfriend David who I could not stand (Women have notoriously bad taste in Men, see Amy). Her boyfriend was a salesman. And everything that entails. Plus he treated Lisa like crap.

Lisa is married to Eric who is super great, funny, brilliant lawyer, interesting and nice. They have 2 boys just like us. I would do anything for Lisa. Not that she really needs anything from me - she's hard to buy for. But I would do anything for her if she ever needed me to.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Leigh Ann

Everybody calls her Leigh (or mispronounces it Lay. Really. So stupid), but I call her Leigh Ann as a form of endearment. I haven't known Leigh long but we hit it off right away.

Leigh is beautiful girl. Absolutely stunning. It's funny, although she takes a great picture, I have never seen a photograph of her that comes even close to representing her beauty in person.

Leigh is very active and extremely fit. She is as stubborn as anyone I know (me and Doug included). She is exceptionally nice to strangers and sales people - a mark of true character (Lisa's the same way). Leigh is fiercely competitive and displays great sportsmanship.

A year ago November 10, Leigh had a baby girl. I saw that baby come into the world. So, if nothing else happens to bind us together, that would suffice; that I witnessed the birth of Leigh and Alex's first child.

Leigh's husband Alex is British. She calls him Al, which I always thinks is so funny because he is so NOT an Al as I think of Al. Like he's not a Bud or a Lou or a Ralph.

Leigh and I used to work together and she stopped working when her daughter was born. It sort of surprised me that she stayed home. But then it didn't really surprise me either. Whatever Leigh does she is going to give it her all.

Leigh has very good taste and a flair for design and it takes her a very long time to make a decision. She doesn't mind spending a lot of time making a decision. For me, that's agony. I hate spending any time deciding something and I don't know why. I really want to get past deciding. I want to have decided. Leigh enjoys the process of deciding something. She doesn't mind being in an undecided state. She is comfortable not being sure or absolute.

Leigh is always very competent and comfortable. She finds out the best things to buy or to do. She reminds me of a character in a Somerset Maugham play called Our Betters who always has the latest rage in her parlor - the latest violinist, the most sought-after singer, to entertain her guests.

Leigh is someone I would love to meet all these other friends... Maybe someday. Maybe we'll go to New York someday.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Here's what I don't get

I read a Washington Post article yesterday (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/06/AR2005110601281.html) talking about how vigorously Dick Cheney has been working to squelch any attempts by Congress to curb the abuse of suspected terrorists. I would expect that and completely forgive that effort (even if I disagree) by an Administration who had made no issue of faith in politics. But an Administration so mired in religiosity can't have it both ways. They can't love Jesus one day and torture bad guys the next. Jesus is very explicit about how to treat people who hate you.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Marianne Williamson

I sent this out to a group of friends and said that I had always thought Marianne Williamson was a bit of a crackpot, but I read this on the cover of our church bulletin a few weeks ago and loved it before I could judge it by its author...

Our deepest fear
Is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear
Is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light,
not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

Halloween


My son wanted to be Poseidon for Halloween (I think the most original thing I came up with was being a gypsy and not a Broadway gypsy but a fortune teller gypsy). I can't sew, so, we hit Party City and Confetti Junction and added a little tin foil and blue saran wrap and here's what we came up with...