Happy Birthday Billy Crystal!

Mike sent us a text message last night saying that he was at Billy Crystal's birthday party. Bastard. He did the press for Mr. Crystal's one man Broadway show. I thought it was cool that he was there, but I didn't think *that* much of it b/c she's always going and doing that. It could just as easily been Liza or Robert Goulet (I mean, if Mr. Goulet were still celebrating birthdays here on earth).


But later in the evening he sent a text msg saying, "Okay. Just had an hour conversation with barbara walters -- wow. And now sitting 2 seats down from robin williams and 9 seats away from billy c and directly across from r deniro. Around a square tabel of 40 with an empty square n the middle. This is truly amazing. Life is good. XoxoMH"


So, that was a little more impressive.


I can't help but picture our children, in a few years, flying out to see their Godfather and meeting people like this. They have charmed lives.

I also kept picturing Mike at this party surreptitiously texting people, not wanting to let on that he was texting accolades and disbelief. Very cute and silly of her.


I know I wrote at some point recently that he had dinner with Bill Moyers (one of my heroes, a fellow Texan and a University of Texas alum).





Baby Girl is still a mess though, no matter who he parties with. She is such a mess, she better not leave me a MESSage.

Cat Fancy

This is very funny - sent to me by M. Hartman...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary . ..
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in a elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now................

don't slap me cause I'm not in the mood

I could just slap Ms. Hartman... After one week in NY we are now watching American Idol. Doug says to me last night, with a chuckle, as that awful AI music started up, "So we are Idol watchers now?" And yet, he kept coming into the living room to watch the sundry performances. What the Hell happened to us? We think we are cultural elites. We aspire to be Cafe Society. Sometimes we even think we are intellectuals. I cannot be an Idol watcher! Simply awful.

However, I must say that this Amanda person with the fright wig absolutely must go. She cannot even *kind of* sing. What a pedestrian and inane show. Why did we watch it?

One thing it has going for it is that Simon character, the polemicist. "You are verging on haunted" must rank right up there. And, "Astonishingly, I must agree with Poe-lah"

I enjoyed Project Runway last night, but I didn't love either collection from those two who were duking it out. Just so so.

Telling you what...

So, it occurred to me that I should say something about Texas phrasology and how we speak and why this blog is called, "I'll Tell You What."


It's a Texas thing to preface everything you say with one of these phrases. Allow me to illustrate:

Lady Sister Girl: I'll tell you what, that Britney Spears is a mess.
Sister Woman Friend: Well, I'll tell you something else, she's the Messesseppi River.
Lady Sister Girl: Well, I will say one more time, she is a mess in a dress.
Sister Woman Friend: Mmm, mmm, let me tell you something, she'd better get it together.

So, it goes like that. (I stole Messesseppi River from Michael.) We do this sort of announcing that we are going to tell you something very important to which you should listen, as if you wouldn't be listening unless we did the set-up.

I also grew up saying that I was 'fixing' to do something and, in fact, when I first moved to Ohio for graduate school I used that term and some fool said to me, "What's broken?" and I honestly didn't know what the person was even talking about. It was like this huge nonsequitur that came out of nowhere - broken? nothing's broken - no one is even talking about something broken. Well, let me tell you, you just said you were fixing to go to the store so I thought something was broken. hhaah, hhhaaah, haaahhhah. Very funny.


My father said lots of funny things - if he was hungry he'd say, "I could eat a hairy dog's leg" or "I'm so hungry I could eat a hairy dog's leg." If a waitperson came to pick up his plate and he had eaten everything on it and the waitperson asked how everything was, my father would say, "Oh I just choked it down." My father sometimes told me that he'd forgotten more about something than I'd ever know. He didn't ever say it meanly, just if I was getting a little uppity or thinking that he was some sort of uncultured lump who didn't know anything he'd say it then, "Paige I've forgotten more about the opera than you'll ever know. I didn't just fall off a turnip truck."

Snow and St. John the Divine

We have had a lovely time so far in New York. Last night we saw, "In the Heights" a new musical (http://www.intheheightsthemusical.com/). Before we saw the show we met our friends Andy, Dan and Claire at The Irish Rogue for a drink. We had a late lunch yesterday at Les Deux Gamins with Mark Boyett in the W. Village. On Wednesday evening we went to the book signing at Borders (the book was Absolute Brightness by James Lescene who also wrote the film Trevor, 1994 Oscar for best Live Action Short and thus started The Trevor Project, a 24-hour hotline for gay and lesbian teens) and then went to the Stone Rose Lounge. We had a perfect view of the city and the lunar eclipse. Tuesday night we saw Matt and ate at Il Bastardo in Chelsea. During the day on Tuesday Lisa and I went to Town Shop and bra shopped. Then we went to tea at Alice's Teacup (wonderful).

Up in Morningside Heights where we are staying with Michael we've eaten at The Deluxe diner and Tom's Restaurant (of Suzanne Vega and Seinfeld fame), which happens to be a regular old diner at the end of the Michael's block. After eating at Tom's today, we walked over to St. John the Divine (http://www.stjohndivine.org/index.html) and there happened to be a choir concert going on while we walked about. It was serendipitous. The cathedral is meant for choral music so we were thrilled that we got to hear those children's voices - a beautiful choir.

So this evening we will be at Jon and Christopher's with Mike, Matt, John Dullworth, Ken, Lisa & Eric, Bennett & Helen... It will be great.

Gay Teens, V-Day, The Hours: Author! Author!

I spoke to Mike last night and this is where we will be on the evening of Wednesday, 2/20 to support a friend of his, James Lecesne.

http://www.bordersstores.com/events/event_detail.jsp?SEID=224488

Join us for "Our First Books": a book signing and conversation with authors Michael Cunningham (The Hours), Eve Ensler The Vagina Monologues), Peter Cameron and James Lecesne about themselves as Young Adults and the books that made them. The evening will celebrate the launch of Absolute Brightness, the compelling mystery of a gay teen who refuses to be tutored by prejudice. It is a highly dramatic and unforgettable song in praise of life.February 20, 2008 6:30 PM Location: In Store Manhattan - Columbus Circle10 Columbus Circle New York

Norman Lear and Clay Jenkinson

This morning on NPR I heard a segment of "The Long View" which featured Norman Lear. As I lay there listening I was thinking about our friend and Godfather, Mike, who recently attended a birthday dinner party for Norman Lear's daughter. She is married to Mike's doctor, who is also the CBS Evening News Medical Correspondent: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/14/utility/main1891188.shtml

As I listened to Norman Lear talk about why the constitution is so important to him I also thought about Clay Jenkinson. A Nationally acclaimed humanities scholar and award winning first person interpreter of Thomas Jefferson, Clay Jenkinson, portrays Jefferson on the program, The Thomas Jefferson Hour, and he answers listener questions while in the persona of Jefferson--his answers are grounded in the writings and actions of the great man.

Doug and I saw this man on a local cable channel portraying Jefferson in Tacoma as a guest of the Tacoma Rotary Club. We were so enthralled watching him that although we had just happened on the channel, we couldn't turn our attention away.

Jenkinson believes Thomas Jefferson wrote the most important 35-word sentence in the English language: "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

http://www.35words.com/index.htm


Finally, Clay Jenkinson has been instrumental in the revival of the modern-day Chautauqua movement. More on that in the above post.