Letter to Tony Kornheiser

Dear Mr. Kornheiser,
I am a professional woman who works full-time (and then some) outside the home, a mother to two lovely boys, the manager of a well-kept home, and a loving wife to a wonderful husband. My salary is commensurate with my husband’s. Having borne two children, I have worked hard to get back to my size-4 shape. I believe I have a noticeable and personal style evident in my home décor and fashion-sense. All of this takes a lot of work. I don’t just wake up looking like this every day. I get my hair cut every 8 weeks and have it colored every few months. I exercise every day. I work hard at how I look every day, whether I'm taking the kids to a tennis lesson or going out to dinner. And even though my husband is very involved in our boys’ daily activities, the management of their needs is my domain.

I arrange all doctors’ appointments for my children. I shop for their clothes and arrange for their haircuts. I advise my husband on his clothes and often shop for him. I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. I prepare a home-cooked meal every night of the week, save one. I pack lunches each day. I take the boys to school and pick them up. I arrange for teacher conferences and oversee the completion of homework. I schedule their extra-curricular activities. I RSVP to all birthday party invitations and buy gifts for those engagements. I tell you all of this because I manage to do all these things while looking fabulous.

I bet Hannah Storm knows what I’m talking about. I bet your wife does, too.

I don’t need some man who is basically required to wear a uniform each day (slacks, shirt, tie?), who doesn’t have too much that needs doing where his hair is concerned, can wear any manner of undergarment without worry over panty-lines or fit or the need for smoothing, never has to buy hosiery, has no pressure to accessorize, doesn’t have to have the right purse for the right outfit, and can mask a belly for 15 pounds before needing to address the issue telling me OR ANY WOMAN that she isn’t dressed well, or age-appropriately.

My husband does a lot for all of us, don’t misunderstand me. He handles all the bookkeeping and the yard maintenance, house maintenance and helps me each morning to get the children up and dressed and fed and ready to go. But, he doesn’t have to ‘do his hair’ or find his Spanx. He doesn’t need to apply makeup. He isn’t expected to keep looking young and he doesn’t fear hearing someone say that he really let himself go after the children came. He is judged by what he does, not what he looks like while he does it.

I hope I’ve enlightened you to the real work that women have in front of them every day. I want my boys and my husband to be proud of me for my style, as well as many other more important things. I want them to see me as daring and courageous in my work, my sense of fashion, and my flair for entertaining. I want to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. So, Mister, watch your words about these hero wives, mothers and professionals; you don’t want to piss us off. We run the world even if we don't rule it. Make no mistake about that.