Bad Mommy

Bad Mommy

There was a time, when my children were babes, I couldn't imagine having a cross word with them. Those days seem long ago.

This morning, after awaking with an horrific toothache, Em knocked over the TV tray that substitutes as my office desk at the moment, sending my laptop and my coffee to the carpet.

ARGH%*&&###%!!!%%!!! I was so mad. I totally lost my temper - What were you doing?!? Do you know that's going to stain?? WERE YOU TOUCHING MY COMPUTER EVEN THOUGH I'VE TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO????!!!

I stormed through the wreck of our house, stomping past all the sweaty men who show up every day to work on our remodel, holding my cheek and trying desperately to find the GODDAMN PAPER TOWELS, and as I cleaned up the coffee I started to cry.

Instant remorse. What an awful mother I am. Why did I get so mad? What is the big deal? Yes, I know that all the dust and mess compounds the spill... Can't I hold it together?

So, I called Leigh and confessed. I just needed to hear from another mother - and one that I think is better at it than I am - that I haven't scarred him for life or turned him into a drug addict - or Charles Whitman.

I asked for Em's forgiveness. Told him I was wrong for losing my temper. He said, "No, it's all my fault. I should have been more careful." I told him that I would appreciate that in the future, but it wasn't his fault that I lost my temper... I should control that. I asked for and received his forgiveness. A blessing.