Worry Wolf

Yesterday's lectionary was the 6th chapter of Matthew where Jesus talks about worry and anxiety:

26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

I've always loved these verses, but anxiety creeps into my life and sometimes it feels as though there is no defense against it. As I told Ken yesterday, I have not reached lily status. I worry. I worry that my happiness is too good and too complete - something will happen to it. I worry that the prosperity I enjoy is just temporary. I worry that I feel gratitude now because it's easy to feel it and someday, when the trials of my life befall me, I will be piteous and petty and will prove once and for all that I didn't have the stuff to experience grace.

I think the essential problem for me is NOT doing something is way harder than doing something different. Like being on a diet or waiting... I can't diet and I am supremely impatient.

But Cynthia, our pastor, began the sermon yesterday with this story:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
“Which wolf wins?”


The old Cherokee simply replied,
“The one you feed.”

I had a profound moment of understanding after she spoke these words. I don't have to not worry. I have to stop fixing lavish meals for the worry wolf. This activates the 'Don't Worry' message. Feed the happines. Starve the worry.