Regrets, I've had a few

Yesterday I handed over my gavel to the new Moderator of the church. I was sure I was ready to do so, but it's a difficult thing. As a leader I feel very flawed. I look back over the year and see so many times that I was frustrated or impatient and I think that I could have done a much better job.

It feels uncomfortable to question the job I did, critiquing myself. I don't want to do that, but I do it just the same. It's easier for me to dive, head-first, into something else rather than sit back and do a little nothing for a time. I think that's what I need to do though. I'd like to find the opportunity for ministry: what is my work in the world? What is, given the collective of my experiences, the way to serve?