We were going to go to Dairy Queen...

I guess all parents use bribery to get their kids to do what they want them to do. This morning is the first day of summer break and Doug agreed to run up to the store to get the boys doughnuts, at their behest. They were fighting and bickering while he was getting ready to leave and I heard him chastise them a couple of times. They continued and I heard him yell out, "Ok! NO DOUGHNUTS THEN! YOU CAN FORGET THE DOUGHNUTS!"

I knew that he was still going to get the doughnuts...

My nephew Erick recently told me that Dwight and Scott used to say, "You know we were going to go to Dairy Queen, but I guess now we won't..." For every kind of thing - fighting in the back seat to cleaning their rooms. As an adult now, Erick realized that they were never planning to go to Dairy Queen, they'd just pull that out to get results. But as a boy, he would think, "Dang It! We could've gone to Dairy Queen!"

Portrait of Doreen Gray

I had a dream Saturday night that I was re-living my youth. Young again! A chance to do it over! And I was young again while cognizant of life lessons learned in my first youth. But I experienced profound sadness when I realized that I was youthful with the young and not reliving my youth with my friends. I hated it - I was so depressed while I was dreaming (a very odd sensation).

I reflected on the dream all day Sunday. I realized that what made the idea of being young again pleasurable was being with my friends and knowing the people I knew then. Just getting youth back without those friends and even experiences (no internet, no social media, no mobile phones) was not palatable.

Fondue

Yesterday was Emery's birthday party and he wanted a fondue party. So we had 5 or 6 boys over and they had chocolate and cheese fondue, watched a little of Alice in Wonderland and played outside.

It was such a joy to watch them run around and jump on the trampoline. I worry so much about Em and his friendships - I get concerned that he struggles to fit in. He's a very sensitive boy and his giftedness is a challenge for friend-making. It sounds like some kind of bragging to put it that way, but I can't ignore his giftedness any more than I can ignore his food allergies or ADHD.

I have long thought that all three of those things are connected somehow - gifted, allergic, ADHD. There are so many kids we meet that have the same three things in common. One of the families we'll carpool with to the gifted program Emery is attending this summer seems so like Em. His mom and I have been talking, mainly to get the carpooling to UW set up, and over the course of several conversations we realize that they are very alike. It reinforces to me that issue with attending to things is connected to his intellect and is the very thing that fuels his giftedness.

Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad!

Wilbur's artistic San Antonio drawing.

Skinny boy

Emery and I just got hysterical... I helped him put on his tights for his ballet dress rehearsal today and he's so skinny that he looks like he's made of tinker toys. Doug said he looked like a dancing licorice whip.

Expotition (which is a long line of everybody) to the North Pole (which is just a thing that you discover)

Doug has been reading the Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh to the boys each night. Last night they read about the expotition to the North Pole. I can hear them in there giggling and loving Pooh. It is delicious to hear them. Roo falls into the river and this reminds me of Wilbur eating ice cream:

there is a squeak from Roo, a splash, and a cry from Kanga. Roo has fallen into the river!
Roo is being brave and not panicking, and even asking his Mum to watch him as he is swimming in the stream, although really he is just being carried along by the current.

When we go to get ice cream, Wilbur always wants a dish of it but he really doesn't like ice cream. He says it's too cold. He does, though, insist on a dish. Then he dips his spoon in it and brings the spoon almost to his lips and says, "MMMMMmmmmm. Ice Cream!"

We all think it's so funny because he never takes a taste. It's sort of like the swimming...

http://carlzimmer.com/books/parasiterex/index.html

I got Emery this book yesterday, worried that it was really over his head. I had heard Carl Zimmer on This American Life and he told a fascinating tale of parasites and their status as the most successful organisms on the planet. I thought Em would be interested in this but once I bought the book I wasn't sure I'd made a good choice. It was long and had no pictures and was not a book I felt I could read, let alone my 10-year-old.

I gave him the book after school and he began reading it immediately. He read the first third of it last night. Astonishing.

Die with a T

I am in the third week of a food plan... I'm doing Jenny Craig again. I actually haven't gained any weight since I did the program 10 years ago. When I weighed in I weighed exactly my former goal weight. The problem is that over those years I had lost a little more and this winter I put it back on. I think my body just looks different at this weight today than it did 10 years ago. And I'm unhappy with it.

I've lost about 2.5 lbs which isn't much but I don't have that much to lose. Being back on JC reminds me of how I ate when I first got out of treatment. Strict portion control and small meals followed by light snacks. I don't know why it's so difficult to keep that up except that you sort of have to think about eating all the time and I really hate that. Sometimes I wish that I could just go through the day being fed intravenously and not have to think about it.

I also was drinking alcohol to regularly - a glass of wine here and cocktail there and in the middle of the week as well. Those calories added up quickly. So that was the first thing I did - no more drinking during the week.

I heard an owl!

The other morning I was up very early and I heard an owl hooting...

Alzheimers

I listened to NYC Radiolab's podcast today and it was about how a researcher in language had analyzed Agatha Christie's last 8 books and detected the possibility that she had Alzheimer's. The deduction was based on how much of her vocabulary she lost (20-25%) and how often she used the word thing, including something, nothing, everything, anything -- in other words, she became less specific and it appeared that this could be an early indicator for Alzheimer's.

I had to stop listening to the podcast. The other day I was searching for the word sentimental and could not come up with it. As I listened to this professor talk about how Christie was losing it, losing herself, losing her mind, I thought about analyzing my blogs and emails from the last 5 years... If they could tell a tale, would I want to know?

Decidedly not. What would be the point? I think it would just make me panic. My mother always says that being a mother and working full time and all that is what makes you unable to come up with the word sentimental when you need it. Just in case, I have started working the crossword puzzle again after going years without it. I think I need to keep sharp.